Soundtrack of the day

Freedom!!! Yayyyyyy!!!!

Don't analyse - enjoy!

Weird how the message from one particular person makes you want to get out of bed again and face tomorrow.
Thanks B.

Nimm dein Leben in die Hand

Heute früh bin ich aufgewacht und beschloss, Prioritäten zu setzen.
Dann bin ich aufgestanden und habe Prioritäten gesetzt.
Ein ganz neues Gefühl.

Erkenntnis

Ich habe das Gefühl (und schon seit langem), eine Zumutung zu sein für andere Menschen.
Die Wahrheit ist etwas anders.
Tatsächlich ist es so, dass ich mehr und mehr die anderen Menschen als eine Zumutung empfinde.
Und mich selbst schuldig fühle dafür, dass es so ist.

Neverland

One of these days, I am going to wake up and getting up is actually going to be easy for me.
One of these days, I am going to make plans in the morning and realize them throughout the day.
One of these days, I am going to stop feeling this weight around my ribcage and just let go.
One of these days, I am going to be the most courageous person in the world and be honest to myself and to others.
One of these days, I am going to realize what it is I want, what it is I fear, and why I sometimes cannot discern between the two.

Soundtrack Frittenbude - Hildegard

Tribute to Miss Trudl Pospischil

Miss Trude,

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more funny and more elegant.
Rough winds do shake the cities in which we go astray
And our reunion's lease hath all too short a date.

Sometimes too hot the eye of the mirror ball shines
And often is our gold complexion thus dimm'd
And every hair from hair sometimes declines
By chance or because of bad hair dresser's trim

But thy eternal splendor shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that hair thou owest;
Nor shall Holy Golightly brag thou wander'st in her shade,
When in eternal lines to Helmut thou growest:

So as long as turtles can breathe or lobster see
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Quote of the day

Existieren, das bedeutet: wählen; leidenschaftlich sein; werden; vereinzelt und subjektiv sein; sich unendlich um sich selbst sorgen; sich als Sünder wissen; vor Gott stehen.

Jean Wahl

Deluge

I wake up; it is raining.
I want to curl up in my bed and never go outside again.

Message from a bottle

On some days you have this particular feeling for yourself. It is as if you can tune into the perception of your self and your own body a tad more than you usually can or would. It is as if you can hear yourself inwards; as if you could smell yourself; and the tips of your fingers have a very soft and permeable touch. And suddenly, also, it seems that you can perceive your eye sockets; you see the world as if through binoculars: two holes perforated by the bridge of your nose. [There is a great episode of Pinky and the Brain told entirely from Pinky's point of view - literally speaking from his point of view: you see everything through two holes.]
Isn't it strange, after all, that one has to arduously learn to neglect, ignore, and/or be ashamed for most of the impulses and sensations that stem from one's own body (the ratteling of your breath, the crackling of your bones, the gurgling of your intestins)?

Granted, if one were to pay attention to all one's inward noises and sensations, plus all of the sensations and noises that surround us, one would probably go crazy within 24 hours. Strange, when you think about it, that being able to survive also depends on a highly selective perception and particularly perceptive habits. The process of becoming a subject and thus 'growing up' being - to large parts - a process of desensitization.

Heritage

I live the life you never could live.
I speak because you are silenced.
I see the things you wanted to see.
I cry because you can't.
I do the things you did not dare to do.
I am happy because you told me so.
And, impalpably, I am growing - not up, but lost - among all of it.

Today's soundtrack

Unfortunately just a Van Morrison cover, but a pretty good one.