Being Annie Hall

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

I discovered e. e. cumming's poetry through Woody Allen. In "Hannah and her sisters", there is this one scene where Michael Caine reads "[somewhere i have never travelled]" to Barbara Hershey, a vinyl playing a preludium or fugue of Bach in the background. It's one of the most amazing love scenes in movie history, I think. Makes me want to be Michael Caine and Barbara Hershey all at the same time.

Anyways, you might think I'll talk about poetry now, but I'm going to talk about Woody Allen movies. Which I really really love, most of them at least. Since I've been a teenager, I used to watch them with my brother and my mom. Since I don't think I had ever heard of Woody Allen before (he's not exactly a director that would come to your mind at 13. Or maybe yes?), I guess it was my mom's idea. And of course, one of the reasons I like his movies so much is that I have about a dozen memories of watching his movies with my mom and my brother, or of us talking about the movies afterwards. I think I've seen Annie Hall at least a dozen times, same with "Hannah and her sisters". I think a lot of his later movies are a poor-copy of these two, especially when it's not him playing the main character. I mean: Jonathan Biggs trying to play Woody Allen is just a joke, basically. Thank god for Nina Ricci in that movie.

But, what I really wanted to say is: seeing Woody Allen movies, or rather: growing up with them to some extent changed my life. That might be a bit pathetic and over the top, you think? Well, yes and no. For example, Woody Allen movies where one of the main reasons why I always wanted to go to New York City, and why I wound up doing so for a year. (Of course, it was totally different from Woody Allen's NYC, but I had some Woody Allen moments while being there.) Also, I became a huge fan not only of e.e.cummings, but of jazz, that is, the 30ies to 60ies big band jazz style (like Cole Porter, Benny Goodman, etc.). Cannot listen to one of those without feeling like I'm in a Woody Allen movie.

For the unlikely case that someone would ever ask me: What kind of movie would you want your life to be like? or: If you were a movie character, in which movie would it be? I would have my answer ready: Woody Allen movies. Preferably Annie Hall (being Annie Hall of course, oh my god, have you ever seen a woman better dressed than her throughout that movie? I don't think so.), second choice "Hannah and her sisters" (being Michael Caine, this time. I just love his hair and his glasses.). But of course, things like that never happen, you never end up living in a movie. Sad but true.

One more thing I want to say about movies in general: There are some people I met in life, who are "movie nerds" (like I am) in the sense that they know more or less all the dialogues from their favourite movies by heart. I used to have a friend in school with whom I could spend hours reciting/replaying all the different Monty Python's. My brother is like that too (our favourite: old Bud Spencer and Terence Hill movies, who were translated into German by a GENIUS. Apparently, they're much funnier in German than they are in the OV). With my boyfriend, it's mainly "The Big Lebowski". With my mom, it used to be musicals (favourite: West Side Story. Running down the streets of Salzburg like the Jet and the Sharks is another secret movie-come-true-wish of mine...).

I end - this being the post of the never-ending-never-attainable-movie-likeness, apparently - with Annie Hall and thus one of the best story lines to ever, I think, end a movie: " It was great seeing Annie again and I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her and I thought of that old joke, you know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'well why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but uh, I guess we keep going through it...because...most of us need the eggs."