Not so long ago, I made the experience that crying in public is considered something very strange (to say the least). It makes people uneasy when they see a stranger crying, especially when there is no apparent reason (granted, a lot of people get uneasy even when they see a person that is dear to them crying).
A couple of months ago I was sitting in a train and I was sad, so I cried. I think that I have two categories of crying (so if you like, this is sort of my ontology of crying that does have its subcategories and variations): 1. eruptive sobs - what Christophe Grangé once described in a novel (I believe it was "Les rivières pourpres) as "crying as if one is vomiting"; 2. silent rain - tears quietly and calmly rolling down my face.
On the occasion of that particular train ride, I was doing the latter of the two (trying not to disturb my fellow travellers). I could see how the other passengers in the compartment grew more and more unsettled. One woman had the courtesy (or boldness) to ask me if everything was allright (what a question, I mean, come on, when someone is crying it's pretty obvious that nothing's allright), upon which I (graciously) shook my head, splashing sparks of salt water on my shirt (have you ever asked yourself why tears are salty? Is it because we once came from the sea?). The others just kept looking (the kind of look that is pretending not to look) at me from time to time with growing bewilderment.
So, what is it then that makes people uncomfortable in the face of another person crying in public? Does crying generally make people feel uncomfortable? Is it because one cannot make sense of it, because one doesn't know why the other person is sad; whereas when there is an apparent reason - injury, fear, etc. - crying (even in public) is somewhat justified or explainable? Is it because people feel like - not knowing you - they can't do anything to help you? Do they feel annoyed? Disgusted? Is it a problem of disrupting the division between what you do (or are supposed to do) in private and what you do (or are supposed to do) in public? Is it because crying is considered to be a sort of loss of self-control, the loss of your public "persona", which is even worse when there is no apparent reason for it? Is it because crying is a bodily private matter - like peeing?
Apparently, we loose an average of about 80 litres of tears during a lifetime (though I don't know if that number includes the "tiny-animal-in-your-eye" sort of crying as well). Can you imagine? 80 litres! But then again, a regular size bathtub holds about 140-175 litres of water (or whatever you wanna put in there), so considering you don't even fill up a bathtub with your tears, the frequently used song line "cry me a river" is somewhat exaggerated, if you ask me. "Cry me half a bathtub" is more or less the best any average person could do.
A couple of months ago I was sitting in a train and I was sad, so I cried. I think that I have two categories of crying (so if you like, this is sort of my ontology of crying that does have its subcategories and variations): 1. eruptive sobs - what Christophe Grangé once described in a novel (I believe it was "Les rivières pourpres) as "crying as if one is vomiting"; 2. silent rain - tears quietly and calmly rolling down my face.
On the occasion of that particular train ride, I was doing the latter of the two (trying not to disturb my fellow travellers). I could see how the other passengers in the compartment grew more and more unsettled. One woman had the courtesy (or boldness) to ask me if everything was allright (what a question, I mean, come on, when someone is crying it's pretty obvious that nothing's allright), upon which I (graciously) shook my head, splashing sparks of salt water on my shirt (have you ever asked yourself why tears are salty? Is it because we once came from the sea?). The others just kept looking (the kind of look that is pretending not to look) at me from time to time with growing bewilderment.
So, what is it then that makes people uncomfortable in the face of another person crying in public? Does crying generally make people feel uncomfortable? Is it because one cannot make sense of it, because one doesn't know why the other person is sad; whereas when there is an apparent reason - injury, fear, etc. - crying (even in public) is somewhat justified or explainable? Is it because people feel like - not knowing you - they can't do anything to help you? Do they feel annoyed? Disgusted? Is it a problem of disrupting the division between what you do (or are supposed to do) in private and what you do (or are supposed to do) in public? Is it because crying is considered to be a sort of loss of self-control, the loss of your public "persona", which is even worse when there is no apparent reason for it? Is it because crying is a bodily private matter - like peeing?
Apparently, we loose an average of about 80 litres of tears during a lifetime (though I don't know if that number includes the "tiny-animal-in-your-eye" sort of crying as well). Can you imagine? 80 litres! But then again, a regular size bathtub holds about 140-175 litres of water (or whatever you wanna put in there), so considering you don't even fill up a bathtub with your tears, the frequently used song line "cry me a river" is somewhat exaggerated, if you ask me. "Cry me half a bathtub" is more or less the best any average person could do.
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