Okay; so it's Euro 2008 in Austria-Switzerland (which always reminds me of the joke: Austria-Hungary is playing tonight. Oh yeah? against whom?). Since this marvellous event is also taking place in my home town, I was able to get some deep insights into the culture of football tournaments. Being a native, I find myself in the privileged position that I would like to call the "embedded ethnologist". Observations have been subsumed to the following axioms:
* As a fan, there is no outfit weird, tasteless and colourful enough. The only rule you have to observe is: The colours of the nation's flag must be part of your outfit.
* There is no limit of accessoires to be used, althought preferrably they should be recognizable as having something to do with the customs etc. of the nation you support (e.g. cheese for Dutch fans, preferrably in the shape of a giant hat that looks like a gouda).
* Make-up comes down to painting your face in the national colours.
* A fan - per definition - makes noise. Preferred instruments: drums and trumpets.
* Two fans are are louder than one.
* A group of fans is louder than two fans.
* Two groups of fans of opposing teams are louder than a group of fans.
* All the groups coming together is even louder than two groups of fans, the particular loudness reaching peaks when a team scores a goal. Observe that loudness grows exponentially.
* Consuming alcohol during the game is not obligatory. You can already start beforehand.
* The prices of beverages and foods even outside the fanzones are like earth quakes on a Richter skala: their limit is open towards the maximum (3 Euro 60 for a coffee, no problem!). The official fanzones being, in any case, the peek of prices (4 Euro 50 for a beer, no problem!).
* If your team wins, get drunk and celebrate. If your team looses, get drunk and celebrate. Either way: get drunk and celebrate.
* The ball is round. A game lasts 90 minutes, and in the end, the German win.
* As a fan, there is no outfit weird, tasteless and colourful enough. The only rule you have to observe is: The colours of the nation's flag must be part of your outfit.
* There is no limit of accessoires to be used, althought preferrably they should be recognizable as having something to do with the customs etc. of the nation you support (e.g. cheese for Dutch fans, preferrably in the shape of a giant hat that looks like a gouda).
* Make-up comes down to painting your face in the national colours.
* A fan - per definition - makes noise. Preferred instruments: drums and trumpets.
* Two fans are are louder than one.
* A group of fans is louder than two fans.
* Two groups of fans of opposing teams are louder than a group of fans.
* All the groups coming together is even louder than two groups of fans, the particular loudness reaching peaks when a team scores a goal. Observe that loudness grows exponentially.
* Consuming alcohol during the game is not obligatory. You can already start beforehand.
* The prices of beverages and foods even outside the fanzones are like earth quakes on a Richter skala: their limit is open towards the maximum (3 Euro 60 for a coffee, no problem!). The official fanzones being, in any case, the peek of prices (4 Euro 50 for a beer, no problem!).
* If your team wins, get drunk and celebrate. If your team looses, get drunk and celebrate. Either way: get drunk and celebrate.
* The ball is round. A game lasts 90 minutes, and in the end, the German win.
2 comments:
dear colleague anthropologist,
even though your seems to me more a malinowskian observation rather than a levi-straussian one, i think it's pretty accurate.
On a note, in the final part of your analysis, it would be more correct to write "and in the end, the German wins IF NONE ELSE DOES".
Sincerely,
anthrodomx
dear colleague: i would like to revise my last statement into: "in the end, the German win or a team that does not geographically belong to Europe." My bet now is: finale between Russia and Turkey, the Turkish team wins in the last 30 seconds of the 122nd minute by marking two goals; final score being 5:6.
Yours sincerely,
Herbert "Schneckerl" Prohaska
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