The USA didn't win the Cold War with their military and/or scientific power, but by globally exporting a brown, sugary lemonade, a food chain that sells sandwiches, fries and icecream (called Sunday - seriously, isn't that the epitome of capitalism? an icecream that bears the promise of a work-free day), and music.
Accordingly, one of the secret weapons launched by the USA was a TV station called MTV. (For the younger generation's sake, let me say that MTV stands for Music TeleVision.) With young anchorpeople called VJs and the then stunning concept of showing only music video clips on television, MTV was targeted at the more or less innocent youth around the globe. By and by, you had a locally coloured MTV for every country (MTV Germany, MTV UK, MTV Kasachstan, you name it), adapted to the particular taste of every nation but americanized enough to be "cool" (simply using the expression VJ made you part of the in-crowd on the school yard; it was like a secret password).
Well, the Cold War is over, and we face what some people dare to call the "post-american era". You can now watch music videos galore, whenever you want to, and as often as you like, on the internet. So isn't it time we ask ourselves: MTV, quo vadis?
When you turn on MTV Germany these days (oh, but I believe everything is MTV Europe now, you know, very politically correct), you have to be really lucky or not have a job (and therefor be able to watch TV all day long) to actually catch a music video. What MTV airs mostly today are dating shows: starring the not so rich and formerly famous (Rock of love, I love New York [which is not, as one might think, about the city of New York], etc.), or starring everyman and everywoman (commonly known as "people like you and me").
My favourite dating show is called NEXT. The show basically resumes to the following description:
"Ever wish you could bail in the middle of a bad date? [Actually, I haven't, but never mind.] Well, NEXT is the MTV show that lets you do just that. We'll set you up on 5 dates. The minute you get annoyed, angry or just plain bored, simply kick 'em to the curb by saying "NEXT", and start over with someone new. Don't feel too bad for the ones you give the boot. They'll get cash for every minute they last and the one who makes it to the end gets a chance to turn the tables. They can choose to go on a second date with you or take the money and run. So be careful what you do, because sooner or later you could be the one hearing the word NEXT." (For this summary and more info click here)
What I particularly like about this show is that its makers are either utterly sarcastic and ironic about its content, or just think the viewers of the show have an IQ that barely raises above room temperature (probably both). Every participant of NEXT is introduced with a short wanted-poster-style summary, suggesting, of course, that our so highly cherished unique individuality is basically reducable to three characteristics.
Brad, 22
- likes to crush the pimples on his ass;
- would never do belly-dance when drunk ever again;
- can't wait to move into a house with a dog and a cat.
Charlene, 18
- likes an occasional threesome;
- works in a bikini-store;
- once thought she wasn't going to have sex before marriage.
But it gets even better: The voice-over writer is particularly fond of all too obvious puns, like for example:
Brad likes to crush the pimples on his ass, but he sure hopes that Charlene will have a crush on him.
or
Charlene likes an occasional threesome, but there's more than some three guys waiting to be her number one.
(Geez, I hope someone from MTV reads this and hires me as a writer for the show.)
But it gets even better: Before the usual commercial break (where they're mostly trying to sell you cell-phone-ring tones at outrageous prices), you can hear the punningly wonderful sentence: Stay tuned, 'cos there's more coming up NEXT!
(Btw: In case you were wondering - judging from my viewer experience, I'd say NEXT is 90-95% heterosexual. You do get the odd Gay/Lesbian episode; during the only one I saw, the girls waiting in the bus for their date started making out together, suggesting of course that queers have a totally liberated and unchained sexual appetite that they are ready to satisfy any minute, no matter where or with whom and preferably in front of a camera.)
So yes, you've guessed right: Michel Houellebecq would probably thank the MTV producers for this more than illustrative example that sexuality - just like money - is a system of social hierarchy; working and overlapping with the general capitalist economical logic. NEXT openly advertises the association between the two, and that you can be a looser/winner in both (sexual and monetary domain), or either one ("don't feel bad if you dump someone, at least the person will get money for it"). But in any case, if you're a stinky, kinky nerd, you neither get the money nor a date (you probably won't even get selected for the show).
NEXT also works with some of the principles of what I'd like to call chat-interaction: If you're on NEXT, no need to give reasons, be polite or respectful. You just dump the person you're not interested in from one second to the other (you just have to say the magic word "NEXT"!), and of course the dumped person can then get back on you by socializing with the other kicked-out daters and swearing in front of the camera (Charlene, you're ugly as hell and have an ass like an old mamma. - Brad, you suck!) No confrontations, no need to respect a lot of the common rules of face-to-face communication; it's a bit like being in a chatroom, though it's - of course - much more REAL (at least for the participants).
I know I sound like a grandma when I say this, but back in the days when I was a kid, you had to actually have an argument when you didn't like somebody (even if it was "because") and tell it to their face, or go through all of the sometimes very distressful periods between hope and doubt when you liked somebody. Oh, and yes, you could actually watch music videos on MTV.
PS: Did you ever wonder why there are only Porn and Telephone-sex ads on Sports channels after 10pm? Stay tuned, 'cos there's more coming up NEXT.
Accordingly, one of the secret weapons launched by the USA was a TV station called MTV. (For the younger generation's sake, let me say that MTV stands for Music TeleVision.) With young anchorpeople called VJs and the then stunning concept of showing only music video clips on television, MTV was targeted at the more or less innocent youth around the globe. By and by, you had a locally coloured MTV for every country (MTV Germany, MTV UK, MTV Kasachstan, you name it), adapted to the particular taste of every nation but americanized enough to be "cool" (simply using the expression VJ made you part of the in-crowd on the school yard; it was like a secret password).
Well, the Cold War is over, and we face what some people dare to call the "post-american era". You can now watch music videos galore, whenever you want to, and as often as you like, on the internet. So isn't it time we ask ourselves: MTV, quo vadis?
When you turn on MTV Germany these days (oh, but I believe everything is MTV Europe now, you know, very politically correct), you have to be really lucky or not have a job (and therefor be able to watch TV all day long) to actually catch a music video. What MTV airs mostly today are dating shows: starring the not so rich and formerly famous (Rock of love, I love New York [which is not, as one might think, about the city of New York], etc.), or starring everyman and everywoman (commonly known as "people like you and me").
My favourite dating show is called NEXT. The show basically resumes to the following description:
"Ever wish you could bail in the middle of a bad date? [Actually, I haven't, but never mind.] Well, NEXT is the MTV show that lets you do just that. We'll set you up on 5 dates. The minute you get annoyed, angry or just plain bored, simply kick 'em to the curb by saying "NEXT", and start over with someone new. Don't feel too bad for the ones you give the boot. They'll get cash for every minute they last and the one who makes it to the end gets a chance to turn the tables. They can choose to go on a second date with you or take the money and run. So be careful what you do, because sooner or later you could be the one hearing the word NEXT." (For this summary and more info click here)
What I particularly like about this show is that its makers are either utterly sarcastic and ironic about its content, or just think the viewers of the show have an IQ that barely raises above room temperature (probably both). Every participant of NEXT is introduced with a short wanted-poster-style summary, suggesting, of course, that our so highly cherished unique individuality is basically reducable to three characteristics.
Brad, 22
- likes to crush the pimples on his ass;
- would never do belly-dance when drunk ever again;
- can't wait to move into a house with a dog and a cat.
Charlene, 18
- likes an occasional threesome;
- works in a bikini-store;
- once thought she wasn't going to have sex before marriage.
But it gets even better: The voice-over writer is particularly fond of all too obvious puns, like for example:
Brad likes to crush the pimples on his ass, but he sure hopes that Charlene will have a crush on him.
or
Charlene likes an occasional threesome, but there's more than some three guys waiting to be her number one.
(Geez, I hope someone from MTV reads this and hires me as a writer for the show.)
But it gets even better: Before the usual commercial break (where they're mostly trying to sell you cell-phone-ring tones at outrageous prices), you can hear the punningly wonderful sentence: Stay tuned, 'cos there's more coming up NEXT!
(Btw: In case you were wondering - judging from my viewer experience, I'd say NEXT is 90-95% heterosexual. You do get the odd Gay/Lesbian episode; during the only one I saw, the girls waiting in the bus for their date started making out together, suggesting of course that queers have a totally liberated and unchained sexual appetite that they are ready to satisfy any minute, no matter where or with whom and preferably in front of a camera.)
So yes, you've guessed right: Michel Houellebecq would probably thank the MTV producers for this more than illustrative example that sexuality - just like money - is a system of social hierarchy; working and overlapping with the general capitalist economical logic. NEXT openly advertises the association between the two, and that you can be a looser/winner in both (sexual and monetary domain), or either one ("don't feel bad if you dump someone, at least the person will get money for it"). But in any case, if you're a stinky, kinky nerd, you neither get the money nor a date (you probably won't even get selected for the show).
NEXT also works with some of the principles of what I'd like to call chat-interaction: If you're on NEXT, no need to give reasons, be polite or respectful. You just dump the person you're not interested in from one second to the other (you just have to say the magic word "NEXT"!), and of course the dumped person can then get back on you by socializing with the other kicked-out daters and swearing in front of the camera (Charlene, you're ugly as hell and have an ass like an old mamma. - Brad, you suck!) No confrontations, no need to respect a lot of the common rules of face-to-face communication; it's a bit like being in a chatroom, though it's - of course - much more REAL (at least for the participants).
I know I sound like a grandma when I say this, but back in the days when I was a kid, you had to actually have an argument when you didn't like somebody (even if it was "because") and tell it to their face, or go through all of the sometimes very distressful periods between hope and doubt when you liked somebody. Oh, and yes, you could actually watch music videos on MTV.
PS: Did you ever wonder why there are only Porn and Telephone-sex ads on Sports channels after 10pm? Stay tuned, 'cos there's more coming up NEXT.
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