Futur antérieur

One of these days (when I get back my private life), I'm going to write a post about how life feels these days.

I'm going to write about how it feels to write a PhD and actually enjoy it. I'm going to write about how mysteriously my own perception of myself (or my self) gets confronted with other people's perception of myself (or my self); and how, accordingly, I am learning to readjust how I see myself (or my self). I'm also going to write about the old boys club that academia in Germany is. I'm going to write about being afraid of the future and forgetting to live in the present. I'm going to write about how it feels to be lonesome, and how it is to be lonely, and why it seems I want to be both most of the time. I'm going to write about myself as the lonesome rider. I'm going to write about the teacher I'm trying to become. I'm going to write about how I'm learning and/or trying to be a sensual person.

In the end, I guess I'm going to write about how it feels when you want to say it all, and find out that what you say (or have to say), ultimately, seems always infinitely less.